Navigating Family Stress During the Holidays? Gentle Tips for Caregivers Who Need a Little More Peace This Season
Photo by Comstock Images Freeimages.com
The holidays can be beautiful, magical, and … a lot. For many parents and caregivers, this season brings not only joy but also complicated family dynamics, overstimulation, and an ever-expanding to-do list. So much is done to ensure your children have the most magical memories, but with it could come burnout as well as triggers stemming from issues with in-laws, acquaintances and others you would normally avoid. If you find yourself bracing for certain conversations, anticipating tension, or feeling emotionally wrung out by holiday gatherings, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong. This is a season that asks a lot of us.
Below are supportive strategies I often share with clients at Zen + Zest Therapy—practical steps you can take to protect your peace, show up in ways that feel aligned with your values, and give yourself the compassion you deserve.
Start With Awareness
Before heading into any gathering, take a moment to check in with yourself.
Are there people, topics, or situations that tend to be triggering for you? Notice what happens in your body when you think about them—maybe a racing heart, tense shoulders, or that familiar tight knot in your stomach. Notice your emotional response too: irritation, sadness, anger, or even dread.
Naming these triggers—either out loud or in a notebook—helps you stay grounded and intentional rather than reactive. Awareness is the first step in choosing how you want to show up.
Set Boundaries Without Apology
It is absolutely okay to say, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or “Let’s change the subject.”
If someone disregards your boundary, you’re allowed to take space—step outside for air, excuse yourself to another room, or even leave early if you need to. You’re not responsible for managing other people’s comfort at the expense of your own well-being.
Protecting your peace is a form of self-respect, and it models healthy behavior for your kids too.
Create New Traditions That Feel Good
If the traditional holiday circuit leaves you feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to scale back. You don’t have to attend every gathering—or any gathering—that drains you. Even if it means breaking from tradition.
Maybe this is the year you celebrate with a chosen friend-family, take the kids to volunteer somewhere meaningful, or plan a gentle activity that keeps everyone busy in a positive way (active plans often naturally limit difficult conversations). It’s okay to design holidays that fit your life today, not the life you used to have or the one others expect from you.
Recover and Regroup Afterward
Even with the best intentions, holiday gatherings can be exhausting. Plan something nurturing after the event: a meditation once the kids are asleep, a workout class, a long shower, or a phone call with someone who truly “gets it.”
Give yourself the space to decompress instead of pushing forward like nothing happened.
A Little Extra Wellness Inspiration
I love looking for new sources of inspiration. I wanted to share a helpful idea from The Financial Diet’s newsletter, a tip that has nothing to do with finance at all:
Build Your Social “Bench”
Just like a football team needs a bench full of players ready to step in, we need a bench of supportive people we can turn to—especially if we’re navigating complicated family relationships.
Community doesn’t appear overnight; it grows slowly through small, intentional touchpoints. Your “bench” might include the friend you go to monthly theater shows with, the group you meet for weekly trivia, or the buddy joining you for wintertime skating dates.
If you’re craving a deeper connection, reach out now—schedule weekly phone catch-ups, start a cozy book club, or plan recurring mini-traditions that spark genuine social joy. Your future self will be grateful for the groundwork you’re laying.
One Last Reminder
Change within families takes time. If you’re doing the work to show up differently, please recognize that effort in yourself. Small shifts matter. Small boundaries matter. Small moments of awareness matter.
And you—exactly as you are—deserve the peace, support, and joy you’re working toward this season.